I really need to give folks like Craigery more credit than he deserves.  He's a pervert yes, but he is a truly great man.  I am thankful that he is in my life.

I wish Andy lived closer.

Today was the first day I've really smiled and laughed because of joy in a while...it felt good

People are saying my bubble butt is shrinking.  Boost to the self esteem much? You betcha.

Kinda shitty losing the only thing I love
My support system is gone
Kinda sucks how she seemed to be more annoyed with my presence rather than somewhat happy
Kinda blows I have to compete my time with her with a lot of other people, with me it seems last on the priority list
Kinda sucks feeling like I have to now compete just to be in a relationship with her with other people.  I'm scared because I don't know how or even if I can win her over.  Even though she did pinky swear that we would be back together.
Kinda sucks that all the negative things in our relationship has completely overshadowed all the positive things
Sucks that I don't really have any friends, to be hated, just really sucks.

Don't think I'll be going to TNA for a while, not until everything settles down and it seems like people can at least tolerate my presence
Gonna take a indefinite Twitter hiatus too...don't think I need to concentrate on other people's lives right now with mine in the shithole...

All these thoughts have caused me to hang out in the bathroom in the middle of the night for a good half hour basically puking.

...i'll be okay



With the fall/winter weather coming back, I expect to take a lot more walks.  To where?  I don't know.

I feel like I am physically dying, today at work I was really delusional and weak.  It gets harder to breathe everyday and my heart I can feel it everytime it pumps...this is scaring me.

I have never felt so alone in my life.

Good day world, I hope I don't wake up.

I'm ranting and raving here...

I am so livid right now.  Second day in a row where no one has yet to come see me and now its a the point where if they don't see me it won't even fucking matter anymore because now it'll be just out of pity.  That just shows me that they don't care.  Never did...no one has even bothered to text me when my set times are.  So you know fuck all you people with your fucking passes, don't bother coming to my fucking house because I won't even fucking acknowledge you.  Maybe just stare you all down, that's the most.

I am so insulted and hurt.  Its absolutely unreal.

You all may think I am being retarded but be in my shoes and you will know how I feel when no one cares.


The only person that has bothered to go out of his way to see me is the person that is a bad influence.